Life of the Young Homunculi
by Blaze808
Summary: (Slight AU! as the homunculi don't age) Childhood is an adventure...especially when you have five siblings! This is a set of random drabbles of the young homunculi and their creator Father having to put up with their antics. Ideas are wanted if there is something you want to see. Shipless fic. Rated T because...well...it's the homunculi...
1. The Devouring of Mr Squishy

**Hello everyone! This is Blaze 808 with another story for Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. This is going to be a shipless set of drabbles about the Homunculi, though I'm sure if you really squinted, you could find a few pairings in here. These range from kid to teen, or a mix of both, depending on the age. I'm just going to list the oldest to youngest and distance from age, as to avoid confusion. As well, I think they stop aging around twenty, so if the age distance is a bit distorted if there is one at twenty.**

**Pride**

**Lust-three years younger**

**Sloth-one year younger**

**Envy-four years younger**

**Greed-one year younger**

**Gluttony-two years younger**

**I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood.**

1. The Devouring of Mr. Squishy

That toy was incredibly annoying. It was so annoying. Five year old Envy stared menacingly at his younger brother Greed, who was playing 'derby' with it, crashing small cars together. It was called Mr. Squishy, though Envy preferred some of the words big brother Pride had used for it though Father had instructed him not to, saying they were 'big people' words. The horrid thing was a teddy bear, and Greed took it everywhere. To the park, the kitchen, the bathroom, and even on the training missions they went on. Envy himself thought he was too old for a comfort object, though he did like his blanket-but he didn't feel the need to have it all the time. It was what happened when you were five. You were practically a big kid! Comfort objects are for babies and bedwetters! He allowed himself a sneer, remembering that his younger brother fit into both those categories, which is why Greed continued to share a room with Gluttony.

Envy could have put up with this bear, even though it embarrassed him that he had _two_ baby brothers, except that Greed had done something so horrible and wrong to the bear. Something so infuriating, it was mind-numbing! It was programmed to say 'Envy's a freak.' He had tried telling Father, and though Greed was reprimanded, Father couldn't remove the cursed speaker from Mr. Squishy. Plus, when he had taken the bear, Greed had spent the next four days wailing at the top of his lungs, screaming "you can't take my things away!" and "give me back Mr. Squishy!" without a reprieve, so Father gave in and gave the cursed toy back.

Envy scoffed at this. He wouldn't have given it back! Not a chance! He would have let the little baby wail until his throat had stopped making a sound, or he broke his own stone. Something had to be done. What could be done?

"Sloth! That's gross! Clean up the barbecue sauce! Gluttony will eat the bottle and get sick!" Lust screeched at Sloth.

"Too…tired...to…put…it…away…" The older boy droned.

"No, just put it away!" Ten year old Lust screeched. "If he throws up on me, it'll ruin my dress!"

Envy's expression grew dark, but a smile showed on his face. Barbecue sauce…Gluttony…excellent…

As he listened to his older brother and sister prattle about the barbecue sauce, he sat staring at Greed with an evil grin.

"This ends tonight brother…"

At 10 pm that night, Envy's time had come, and his plan shall be realized. He probably would get grounded for a year, but he didn't care. Sweet justice shall be his. Envy snuck into his younger brothers' room after a quick stop in the kitchen. Taking one of Sloth's socks-which he had stuffed with peas to simulate the beads in the bear, he snuck up to Greed's bed. He stifled a chuckle when he saw the bed was wet again-yet another time out from Father would be in order. Holding up the sock creature, he quickly raised his hands to his nose. He had already thrown up once from this thing, and didn't want them to wake up to the sound of his puking. Quietly, he switched Mr. Squishy for the foul sock creature. This however, was easier said than done. Even though Greed remained blissfully unaware of his older brother's presence, he squirmed in his sleep, as if he subconsciously knew what Envy was up to.

Not to mention the fact the toy kept screaming "Envy's a freak". After stifling the darned thing, so it only sounded like a murmur. Knowing that it wouldn't take long for the other boy to wake up, he quickly lathered the bear with the barbecue sauce, and walked up to Gluttony's crib.

When he got there, his littler brother was snoozing away. "Put…the bunny…in the…box." He murmured sleepily. Envy looked strangely at Gluttony, but then shook his head. Never question the mind of a two year old.

"Gluttony! Wake up!" He shook his younger brother.

"Envy?" The younger sin murmured.

Envy knew the magical words. "Want a snack."

As if he had been awake for hours, the younger one sat up and opened his mouth, making a soft 'aaahhh' sound.

"That's a good Gluttony." Envy smiled evilly as Gluttony swallowed the obnoxious bear whole.

He quickly sneaked back to bed, waiting for all hell to break loose.

Father was concerned. Envy had sat in the dining room, staring at his bowl of cereal with an evil smile on his face for the past hour. He shuddered, worried at what the boy had done. He had full reason to shudder, as a frantic Greed ran into the room.

"Father! Where's Mr. Squishy?"

Every parent knows to fear that phrase, because when a child loses their comfort object, it becomes a nightmare for everyone.

"Did you check under your bed?"

"Yeah!" Father could see the unshed tears in the four year old's eyes. It was too early for this…

Noticing the older boy had started to slink away from the table, he was filled with a sudden dread. "Envy…"

"What? I didn't see it. Maybe Gluttony ate it."

Father took one look at his younger son, and cursed, as the child's chin began to wobble and fists clenched.

"YOU FED IT TO GLUTTONY!" The boy screamed, running after Envy in his carbon state.

Father took one look at the two and thumped his head down on the table. It was way too early for this…

**If you enjoyed it, please review the story! Also, if you guys have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them!**


	2. Big Sister Lust

**Wow! Looks like I finally made a Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood story people liked! I figured I was so happy with it that I wanted to write a next one. This isn't as funny as the last one, but a bit more cute. Father might be considered a bit OOC, but I think he's just right. I mean, he earned the respect of all the homunculi, and he had them call him 'Father'…**

**I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. If I did, these wouldn't just be on …**

2. Big Sister Lust

Pride-four

Lust-one

Sloth-newborn

*Note* This takes place around Briggs, but not modern-day Briggs…

It was a stormy evening as Father trudged through the snow. This wasn't a surprise, being near the border of Drachma. However, he was a little worried for the bundle in his arms. It had taken a lot of work, but there was now a third child in the family. He looked at his new 'son' with a smile. This was the calmest one he had created. Not that he was surprised, looking at his son, whom he had named Sloth for obvious reasons. The little boy made no movements and slept in his arms. He chuckled softly, remembering the indignant wails from Pride, and the calculating way Lust had stared at him. "We're almost there little one." He whispered softly to Sloth in the way he would only talk to his beloved creations. Another smile grew on his features, when he saw the castle. They were home. It was like a fortress, though he preferred the basement. The upper floor often had to deal with icicles, which would be dangerous for his young children. Just because they were Philosopher Stones didn't mean he wanted them to keep risking death. As he opened the door, he saw the elder children sitting. Lust had crawled into her older brother's lap, despite the fact that Pride had obviously attempted to keep the tot away. Father wondered if he should have made Pride last, noting his obvious dislike for children.

"Papa!" Lust hollered happily, much to the older boy's misery. Father sighed. He much preferred 'Father', but the word didn't work for the young girl and after ages of getting her to say it right, he gave up. Lust jumped out of her brother's lap and up to Father, hoping for a hug, which he often gave to her. So it surprised her when he didn't, only patting her head with his hand.

Pride got off the couch slowly and looked up at Father in sheer horror. The issue wasn't Father of course, but the little bundle in his arms.

"Father, you didn't…"

"Yes, son I did."

Pride made a strangled sound, while Lust tilted her head in curiosity. "Did what, papa?"

"You have a little brother."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Papa, don't you need…"

He put out his hand to stop her. "Everyone in this family is special. Besides, that's what humans do…"

She nodded, and stood on the tops of her toes to try to see the baby. Father bent down with little Sloth in his arms. At this point, Pride had taken to whacking his head repeatedly against the wall, muttering words that Father _knew_ he hadn't taught him. Probably from the people at the fort Briggs-the soldiers cussed a lot, particularly during sword practice. He figured it was best to let it slide-_this time_.

"He's so pretty!" Father sighed at this. Pretty wasn't _exactly_ what he had in mind with this one…

"What's his name? What's his name?" Lust jumped up and down, in excitement. Father couldn't help but wonder if this level of excitement would be there on the next one's birth.

"Sloth. Now Lust…"

Lust looked up at her father, eyes prepared to drink in everything he had to say.

"Even though I will be taking care of the boy, you need to help to."

"Huh?"

"Well, you need to be a good example for your brother, and any other siblings that might come after."

She grinned, but her smile dropped and she turned around, gesturing to Pride, who now had his head in his hands and was making strangled sounds.

"What about him?"

Father rubbed his free hand on the back of his neck. "Pride…he's a little difficult."

"Yeah. You should have named him 'grumpy'." She agreed.

He inwardly chuckled. Pride was nothing in the temper department compared to one of the future children…

"Can I feed him?"

"…I suppose…"Father was a little worried about what would happen. Not like Lust would do anything on purpose, but...

He worried way too much about these children.

**Thanks for reading. I was pleasantly surprised with the amount of readers for this story-only chapter one too. I have a question: Are there any characters that you want to see the next chapter focused on? Note: if you have any cameo requests, I can do them, but except for Honenheim and Truth, I have to say that anyone will have to be an ancestor (who strangely will act a lot like their descendant…)**


	3. The Anti-Dating Squad (Part 1)

Someone obviously read the previous chapter and saw my character request option. As a result, this chapter came out. This chapter was so fun, I was laughing my head off while brainstorming. Thank you MissiB and makelifetakethelemonsback123!

3. The Anti-Dating Squad part 1 (Main Characters-Lust, Envy, Greed by request)

Ages

Pride-18

Lust-15

Sloth-14

Envy-10

Greed-9

Gluttony-7

It was no secret that Envy and Greed hated each other. If any of the siblings were likely to fight, it was those boys. However, the two could get along for a common cause-and mercy for the person this cooperative effort was laid against. In this case, it was Lust. Now, everyone in the house liked Lust, her being the big sister of the house, especially the seven year old Gluttony. There was one small problem. She had the worst taste in men in the history of well-ever. At least, that's what her brothers thought. Except for Pride, who didn't give a crap about anything except himself. It was a common joke from the younger siblings that Pride wouldn't get into a relationship until cloning was invented…

Now if only Lust had that problem.

They would have liked that problem.

Lust liked what she considered 'bad boys', as she considered them 'cool'. Envy had considered them 'worthless smoke-puffers who were looking for advancement in society through useless means.' Greed had used a better phrase-the only thing Envy considered clever that had come from his younger brother's obnoxiously large mouth. Something on the lines of "walking pieces of Gluttony food" then added they were already smoked. Despite the two getting in trouble for their colourful descriptions of men Lust had gone after, there was one bonus. Father wouldn't allow her to date. She could flirt-and boy, did she ever overuse that-but dating was prohibited. At least, that was the case two days ago.

Two days ago was horrible. Two days ago…Father said yes. For some reason, their Father-who _most_ of the time was highly intelligent-had allowed her to have a boyfriend. When Lust had asked, they all looked at each other, smirking. It wasn't going to happen. That's what they had thought. However, when Lust pointed out her age, Father took that into account. He nodded softly, as if he was considering it. "Hm," He began his life-ruining statement "I suppose you having connections could be a decent idea, and since Pride has shown no interest in any form of relationship…"

"But I thought he was in love with his complexion…" Gluttony noted curiously.

Greed and Envy sat there, trying not to look guilty, though even though they hadn't said it together, they had both set it.

"Gluttony, who told you that?" Gluttony tilted his head. "Pride, why do you look so angry?"

Pride evaded the question. "Was it Big Brother Envy or Big Brother Greed?"

"Both of them said it, and they never agree, so it must be true."

"I see." However, even though his mouth said 'I see', the spreading shadows underneath promised true horrors to come. Though unlike they expected, these horrors did not come from Pride, but Father himself.

"As I was saying, I suppose you are old enough Lust for companionship."

Cups shattered, and forks dropped from the table as the five others gaped at the sheer magnitude at what Father had just said.

"W-what..?" Envy stared at Father, as if to say 'are you out of your mind?'

Ignoring his startled children, he continued, speaking to Lust. "You have to find a man with connections. It can't be just any ordinary man."

Many things can happen in times of need-and this was a time of need. Because three days later, Lust had hooked herself up with this man. Envy needed to know who it was. After all, someone had to report the danger. Which is why he had neatly turned himself into the flower on the table of the two lovebirds.

When he first saw the boy, he was shocked. He didn't smell like smoke. He didn't look like he had just done drugs. He had glasses-and a freaking bow tie.

Oh Lust, what have you done?

You're dating a freaking NERD!

"Oh, h-hi Solaris!" He blushed nervously.

"Hi Elijah!"

"I didn't t-think you would come."

She grinned and tapped him on the nose. "Elijah Elric, what makes you think I wouldn't show up?"

"Well, after what Catherine did…"

"Oh yeah! Your little sister's a twerp."

"Yeah. I've told her to stop getting Ms. Whiskers to attack people." Elijah scratched the back of his head nervously.

"You know, Liore isn't as shabby as I thought it would be." Lust looked around.

"I still enjoy my Resembool." Elijah smiled.

Envy wished that a flower could roll its eyes, because he really wanted to right now.

She grinned at him. "Father said yes."

"Oh! That's excellent!" Elijah fixed his bowtie. Envy rolled his eyes. He could beat him up with one finger! This guy was so freaking weak!

Envy couldn't take it anymore and rolled himself into a bush as soon as a wind gust came. THIS WAS A FAMILY EMERGENCY!

Greed looked at the clock. He was SO bored. Envy had disappeared and harassing the others just wasn't as fun. Sloth would just fall asleep in the middle of his attempts, Gluttony would giggle at every single insult, and even though Pride could be fun, Pride was still royally angry after finding out that he and Envy decided he was in love with his reflection. (Stupid little kids can't keep a secret.) He chucked another rock into a nearby bush near their house. He managed to hit something else.

"OW!" Boredom dissolved, the freak was home.

"Oh! Didn't see you there. Your palm tree hair makes good camouflage for you."

Envy went to attack his little brother, but stopped.

"I'll continue this later. Right now we have a family emergency."

Greed grinned and bounced a rock off Envy's head. "You just realized you are a freak?"

"NO! It's-"

"You're secretly a big wuss?"

"You're wussier than me! It's-"

"You realized you have palm tree DNA?"

Envy exploded. "NO YOU RETARDED PACK RAT! LUST IS DATING A NERD!"

The rock dropped out of Greed's hand, and he extended his neck out in shock.

"A…nerd?" Greed spoke softly, as if he had spoken a curse.

"Yes."

"How nerdy is he…?"

"I think he has a shrine to pocket protectors."

Greed gasped. "It _is_ an emergency."

Envy scowled. "You're mocking me, aren't you?"

"Did you hear me call you a freak right now? I am being completely serious! What happens if these two get married?!"

Envy stared in shock at Greed, as he had not thought of these horrid implications.

Envy gripped Greed's shoulders. "We need to team up to stop this!"

"Deal! Anti-Dating squad unite!"

Envy was too horrified by the news to tell him that the team name sucked.

Greed and Envy were sitting at their dinner table.

"We need a plan. How are we going to stop this?" Greed pointed out. After pausing, he added "Envy! Was there anything you heard that could help us?"

Envy paused for a moment and grinned.

"CATHERINE!"

Greed stared at Envy. "Is she like…your girlfriend or something…"

"No! Why would you say that! I don't even know her!"

"Funny, you're face is red."

"…shut up. You would do that too if I had suggested you were dating someone. Besides, that's the geek's brother. Apparently she hates our sister. Got a cat to attack her."

Greed grinned evilly and folded his hands together.

"Brother, it appears you have found something _very_ useful. Very useful indeed."

(End of Part 1 of 2)

**Hello! Sorry for keeping you guys waiting so long. In case you were wondering, Elijah is the ancestor of Trisha Elric-meant to be like Alphonse. Note: I do not ship Al and Lust together; I just thought it might be good for this.**


	4. The Anti-Dating Squad (part 2)

**I figured I wouldn't be as mean as I was last time and leave you guys hanging. This is Part 2.**

**Chapter 4: The Anti-Dating Squad-Part Two**

**I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist/Brotherhood!**

**Note: Not OC centric, but an OC is a main character of this chapter.**

When the two stepped into Resembool, Greed looked around and whistled. "Dude, there's more sheep here than people!"

Envy rolled his eyes in response. "Yeah, yeah, now why are we doing this again?"

"Relax. I know exactly what I'm doing."

"I'm older than you. I have a bigger brain, and I think this is a retarded plan."

Greed faked surprise. "Really? I thought you were agreeing with it for the past four hours I was stuck beside you on that stupid horse cart."

"Still, is it best to go capture a girl who _trained her cat to attack people?!_"

"We aren't capturing her, Envy, we're bringing her along. Besides, none of the feminine species can resist this charm." Greed winked back.

Envy looked bewildered. "Since when did you become a 'ladykiller'?! You're frigging nine!"

Greed shrugged. "Some boys got it, some boys don't."

Envy slowly turned a rather interesting shade of purple. "What are you trying to say…?"

"You still think the feminine breed have cooties. Your point against it would be…?"

Envy muttered something that really shouldn't be coming out of a ten year old's mouth. Greed smiled. Score one for the Avaricious! He stopped for a moment. "It's Elijah _Elric_, right?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

"That girl over there has a parasol with "Elric" stitched on it." Greed smiled.

Once Envy looked closer at the girl with the parasol, he grinned, but then his smile dropped. "The cat's with her."

Greed shrugged. "Just leave the lady to me. Watch and learn, my romantically challenged brother!"

Catherine looked out at the buggy station. Where was her brother? She was starving! Ms. Whiskers meowed at her. "It's okay Ms. Whiskers! Brother will get home, and I'll give you my milk. I still don't know how you like that stuff." She heard footsteps from behind her. They were small-definitely not her brother's. It was even smaller than his irritating girlfriend. Turning around, she saw a boy walking up to her with another in the distance. The closer one was wearing what looked like a leather jacket, spiky hair and slightly jagged teeth. Ms. Whiskers hissed protectively. The other boy looked a bit older, and she giggled slightly. He looked like a palm tree. It…was a 'he', right?

"Good afternoon, miss. It's a wonderful day, is it not?"

She saw the 'palm tree' roll his eyes, and she felt like doing the same thing. However, her brother told her that beating up and being rude to people was bad and if she could avoid it for the whole day, he would bring back a treat from Liore.

"It's a good day, kind sir." The words sounded false to her-which they were.

If he picked up on it, he didn't care. "I go by Greed. What do you prefer?"

"I'd prefer if you left me alone." Surely even _Elijah_ wouldn't find that too rude.

"Did I offend you?" He would have looked a little more sincere, but the cocky smile gave away his attitude. Could she punch him? Please?

"You are a boy and are going to give me cooties." She scoffed.

Greed rubbed the back of his head. Funny, this worked on the older teenage women, (he didn't realize it was because they thought he was adorable trying) so why wouldn't it work on a girl his age? The brown haired girl was staring daggers at him. Perhaps it was time to drop the flirting. Too bad, this one was kind of hot. Mind you, a lot of the females were. "Are you sure I can't have your name? I'm sure it's prettier than miss."

The girl rolled her green eyes. "I'm Catherine Elric and this is Mrs. Whiskers, my guard cat!"

"She's seems really calm!"

"No, she's not. She's just assessing the situation."

"Assessing…?" The words were too big to comprehend for the nine year old. Envy smirked, proud of himself that he knew those words.

"It means she is watching what's going on to figure out what to do. It was from one of my brother's books. He writes!" She beamed, thinking of her brother.

"What's he write?" Greed didn't really care, but he figured it was polite.

"He wrote a book about Alchemy. It was how you could control different elements with it, like water…fire…"

Greed cut her off. "You like your brother a lot."

"Yeah! He's so nice to me! Unfortunately, he's dating someone."

"What's wrong with that?"

Both Envy and Catherine face palmed on how obvious he sounded when trying to pretend he didn't know.

"How do you know, _Greed_?"

Envy figured it was time to step in. Walking briskly up to his brother-who for once had seemed to be lost for words-he held his hand out for her to shake.

"I would be Envy-_his_ brother. You see, my sister is the one that is dating your brother…"

A ferocious snarl appeared on her features "DID THAT LITTLE CREEP THINK SHE COULD SEND LITTLE BOYS TO DO A WOMAN'S JOB?! I WILL _NEVER_ ACCEPT HER AS MY FAMILY AND SHE CAN TAKE A HIKE!" When the boys realized she was done, they unplugged their ears as the girl panted after straining her voice.

"Actually, that's not what we want at all." Envy pointed out.

"Then what the heck do you want?"

"Simple. They break up and everyone will be happy."

"I'm listening."

"We want you to join us."

"Why?"

"From our recon, you seemed like a pretty valuable ally."

"I don't know what 'recon' means, but I don't like the sound of that." She growled and her cat hissed.

"We weren't spying on you. I just…watched their date. So you trained your cat to fight…?"

A large grin popped on Catherine's face. "I did. She is the finest cat-combatant in Amestris! So…what were you planning to do?"

Greed and Envy exchanged looks. "Do…?"

"You know, to break them up? You do have a plan, right?"

"We needed some more information on your brother." Envy explained.

"So you have a good excuse. Very well. Let's go sit over there, and we'll figure this out. I need to grab my paper and pen."

"Does your brother have any weaknesses?"

"Well, he's not a fan of monsters…" She noted. "He's kind of a chicken."

Greed flashed Envy a look and Envy hit him over the head, for despite the lack of words exchanged, they both knew his suggestion.

"What…?"

"Never mind Catherine, continue!"

"That's really it. Nothing that won't hurt him anyway." A subtle threat was laced in the final sentence-something the boys caught quickly. "And your sister? What's her weakness?"

"She's protective of us." Greed noted. After a slight pause, he stood up suddenly.

"I GOT IT!" The other two turned around.

"Got…what?" Envy looked at him suspiciously.

Greed whispered something in his ear. Envy turned a slightly purple colour, but before he could object, he forced him to listen to him finish.

"What the heck are you two going on about?"

Greed looked at Envy, who with a huff nodded, turned to Catherine. "Okay. Here's the plan."

It was 7:30 PM on that fateful night. Lust and Elijah didn't know what horrors would come for them. "I-it was nice having you come!" Elijah gushed softly.

"As I wouldn't." Lust smirked as she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. If they had listened closer to their surroundings, they would have caught the sound of three slight gagging sounds.

"You told me you had made some dinner?"

"Yeah…hope you like spaghetti…" Elijah felt his face going red.

Lust bopped his nose playfully. "How could I hate something you make?"

He was the brightest shade of red in existence at this, and she walked into the house, with the blushing Elijah in toe.

"And that's why I hate her. She's a manipulative meanie." Catherine huffed as Ms. Whiskers hissed. Greed and Envy didn't really disagree.

"You two ready?" Greed whispered to Catherine.

"Yeah. I'm not sure how you're going to…"

"We know a few tricks. I've got this." Envy cut her off, with a small irritation laced in his

voice. With that, they snuck out of the bush, as Greed waited for his signal.

The date went well until Elijah and Lust heard a large ear piercing shriek. Elijah quickly got up from the table. "That's Catherine!"

"Here, let me-"

"No. I couldn't possibly allow a lady to hurt herself!"

Lust wanted to correct him that she was stronger than him, but appreciated being treated as a damsel (just this one time).

Elijah ran outside to see his sister mauled. He couldn't see the injuries, but she was covered in blood. "Wh-what happened?"

Catherine pointed with tears in her eyes to a devilish beast. It had four eyes, three horns and walked on two legs.

"It attacked me!"

"Who's blood is this?" Concern masked his expression.

"I-it's hers! Ms. Whiskers!" Elijah looked up just in time to see the monster go to pick up the cat and eat it. Before anyone knew it, Elijah had taken a sword out of his sheath and pointed it at the monster's head.

"B-be gone, foul beast!"

The monster dropped the cat on Catherine's lap and slunk over to the 17 year old male, circling him slowly. What Elijah didn't realize, was that a small boy of the age of nine was running towards the house.

"BIG SISTER LUST! BIG SISTER LUST!" Greed ran into the house.

Needless to say, this had been one of the last people Lust had expected to see. "Greed…? What are you doing here?"

"Envy lost control and he's being attacked!"

Some may wonder how on Amestris she would have fallen for such a thing, considering the regular animosity between these two, but there is one thing you must understand. Even in such an artificial family-family is everything. Especially for Lust.

She leaned down and gripped his shoulders. "Tell me everything!"

"W-well, he p-p-pulled one of his s-stupid t-transforming things and some g-guy thought h-he was attacking someone a-and drew h-his sword!"

"Why aren't you protecting him?" Her voice was more harsh than she intended. The nine year old let out a large sniff, and Lust inwardly winced.

"I-I thought...I should c-c-c-c-come for…" Then he burst into tears and she cussed something even Pride wouldn't have ever said.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Where is he?" She wiped her brother's tears away.

"T-the garden!" She patted him once on the head and sprinted out the back door. Once she was out of sight, Greed grinned and swiped his hands quickly across his eyes.

"Hook, line and sinker!"

Once Lust got there, it was bad. Her little brother (or so she assumed, as such a monster simply did not exist) was cornered against the wall, with Elijah pressing his sword at his chest, ready to put in a killing strike. Any logic that she had that would have told her that he was going to be okay failed and she tackled Elijah to the ground, claws poised dangerously at her lover's neck.

"UNHAND ME!" He whipped around only to see Lust's growling expression.

"Leave. Him. Alone."

With that, Envy transformed back to his preferred state and slumped on the ground, Catherine getting closer to him, though the action was not noticed by the others.

"L-Lust? You're one of them?"

"Yes I am. And you just attacked my brother!"

"It attacked my sister!"

She pressed her claw up to his neck so it drew a drop of blood. "He's not an 'it', _Elijah dear_." With that, she slapped him across the face and got up.

"Well, it seems to run in the family. I didn't….I didn't sign up for this!"

"Neither did I. It's over!" Lust might as well been screaming.

Elijah's face turned red. "I would say so. Now excuse me, I…I have things to do! Catherine! Come with me!" He huffed.

She silently gave the boys a 'see you later' sign and followed her brother inside, picking up Ms. Whiskers, who was growling as the ketchup on her fur was irritating her.

Within a couple of hours (and several consoling hugs later for the former couple), the three met again at midnight.

"Operation complete!" Greed declared happily.

Envy huffed. "I never want to do that again."

Catherine sighed. "It took me _hours _to clean out the ketchup from Ms. Whiskers." She paused and noted to the boys. "Your eyes are red. Both of you."

"Irises? Well yeah…" Envy rolled his eyes.

"No, like sad red. Crying?"

Greed shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a good actor? Girls like sensitive guys-though I don't like to do that too often. So…what's your excuse?"

"Just trying to make myself look weak."

"Trying? You're an expert."

Envy seethed. "Listen here, hedgehog hair…"

"Sorry, my listening time for freaks just ended. You'll have to wait until tomorrow."

"LISTEN HERE YOU…."  
Catherine smirked slightly as she watched the boys start there screaming match. Tapping slightly on her cat's head, she sat back. It took less than four seconds for the boys to be running away from a lunging, hissing, biting and scratching cat.

Good times indeed.

**Sorry for taking so long to update, but I hoped you enjoyed it! Please send in ideas! I have my own material, but I'm sure you want to see yours too!**


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